I can't begin to describe what is going on in my heart right now. Overwhelmed-broken-healed- I feel as though a million things are happening at once and I don't know what to do. My heart is so burdened and ashamed.
I see so much suffering.
Every single day I am faced with those who have significantly less than me. Either their clothes reflect it, or their souls do.
I see the elderly black man, wearing a wool suit and beanie cap, carrying a load of papers under his weary arm... as I sit at a stoplight in 90 degree weather in luxury, with cool air comforting my sweaty skin in my vehicle. I don't know what he was doing or where he was headed, but he obviously couldn't afford transportation and needed to look his best, so he wore all he had that was suitable and went out in the most disagreeable weather. Grief spills over in my heart and tears run down my spirit.
I see those with more money than I could ever fathom. Arrogant-disdainful-lofty are their eyes. Their homes explode with plenty and their hearts are vacant caves. My smiles hide the yearning and burning desire I have to tell them there is much more to life than their knowledge and wealth has dreamed. The misery I feel for them is unspeakable and I wish I could change the world.
My soul is heavy like iron and sinks into the depths of my being. How can I look at my flesh and not see an ungrateful worm? How can I see others who are so full of holes, and not be affected by the fact that my holes have been filled with redemption? How can conviction not move me to only reflect light but be light?
Thirst for the witnessing of souls transformed, causes the darkness to discourage my hands. My heart floods with waters of love and I desire relentlessly for others to be washed in the refreshing fount of a grace that evokes an aroma of the sweetest scent.
My feet want to go into the pits of hopelessness where the stench of broken hearts fills the air, and nurse the wounds of sin, with the balm of the Gospel, showing tenderness and strength. Arms that will hold the helpless and lips that will speak words that will nurse sick souls to heal in our precious Father's bosom. Dark eyes that are shown the light, and radiate with the white light that results from a pure blood, hold a beauty that is seldom equaled.
On this day of rest the Lord has given His children, my soul heared my pastor preach a sermon of love that makes my heart excited at what I envision transpiring next. Arm and arm, saints conquering the walls of hate and hardness that the Enemy has built, wielding weapons of love fashioned by the Redeemer, destruction of misery and pain transpires, and mercy in the Kingdom of Jesus births greatness. A flag of freedom in Jesus and souls bathed in His love is raised in the land of the once dead. The Bride is washed in a river of white, which flows from the veins of a spotless Groom crowned in mercy-a powerful strength that makes mountains shatter and demons quake.
Beautiful is what my eyes will behold. Through the ashes of aching eyes and a black wickedness veiling the innocence of a pure love, the Cross will illuminate the path for the children of God and shadow them in battle and move them to actions that *will* change this world... and usher others into the Paradise of the next.
"And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more... " Philippians 1:9